Hospice

In talking to my oncologist today, he said something along the lines of:

“We threw our best option, and then our second best option, and then our third best option. Those are some hearty tumor cells.”

It made me giggle because I imagined my tumor as stubborn and I think that that’s a trait that I have. Having a goal and then becoming the juggernaut to deliver on that goal. 

Alas, that asshole tumor out-juggernauted me. My wife and I have made the decision to enter hospice care.

I think what makes this decision so difficult is the feeling that I’m letting my family and biggest supporters down.

Obviously, I’m going to miss so many milestones with my family, and that’s incredibly sad. My 10-year anniversary is next month. Hero graduates from high school this year. In a few years, Destiny should graduate from college. Nearly all of Ember’s childhood.

I used to think that I would die fighting as long as there was any treatment path.

But, when I look at everything – treatment options and their toxicity versus effectiveness, current state of my lungs, etc – It doesn’t make sense to me to continue fighting. 

Thank y’all for being so supportive in this journey.