A few months ago, my son said something that stuck with me. I don’t remember the full context, but either my wife or my mom was using me as an example for him to follow. In that moment, he said something along the lines of:
I wish I could be half the man that my dad is.
At the time, it was flattering that my son sees me as someone to emulate. But, it’s also been something that’s stuck with me for many months now.
I think part of why it stuck with me is because I don’t want him to feel like he has to measure himself against me, as if my life is some ultimate yardstick. I’m proud of the man I’ve become, but I’m certainly not perfect, and more importantly – We’re different people.
He shouldn’t strive to be a version of me. Instead, what I would suggest is that my son pick out traits of mine that he admires and attempt to emulate those. Perhaps it’s work ethic, drive, or the way that I care for our family and the people that we bring into our family.
Taking this outlook is much more robust as it provides many more examples of what greatness looks like and doesn’t set potentially unrealistic expectations.
To my son – and really to anyone who finds themselves looking up to someone else – I’d say this:
Don’t aim to be half of someone else. Aim to be fully yourself, inspired by the best of what you see in those around you.
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